ALONE

What is it…what are the words…..?

Mark has been so busy and so troubled with work. He has had more problems than he ever expected to have. He’s had to deal with people who yell at him, unethical people, probably illegal actions on the part of one, people he’s had to fire. He’s had to gain trust, stand up for truth and honor, teach, cajole, sympathize, manage, build, network, pacify, and so much more. He is consumed by his work and everything that goes with it. It’s a fishbowl here. Everyone knows what everyone else is doing….it’s a little scary. He must prove to this government what the rest of the world already knows about his abilities. I see his stress, I feel his stress and there’s nothing I can do.

I’m alone. He is here when he comes home, but he’s working in his head. He sees I’m out of sorts and asks about it, but what do I say? I don’t know myself!

I made an Irish Lamb stew last night he really enjoyed it.

I got juniper berries from a lady because another lady told her I needed them! It’s quite a network of women who are all in this together.

I am going to corn beef for St. Patrick’s Day! I’ve never done that before. I’m thinking about a St. Patty’s Day Party, but I’m not sure when. I am going to Cairo for 5 days from March 17th to the 21st with 6 other women. Some have lived there and know what they are doing. I’m so excited to be going……yet, I don’t feel excited. Mark has the official kick off for the project on the 11th. Prince Faisal will be hosting it and sending out the invitations. Pretty cool!!

Mark has been so busy he never knows what is going on. He forgets when things are or just doesn’t know but always forgets to tell me when he does. I gotta figure out a way for me to find things out without having to go through him.

We’re going to the Dead Sea this weekend. Eileen’s part of the project is having a training and Mark is going because he’s the boss. I’m tagging along as the official photographer! Mark didn’t want to go but does need to go. I only found out where we were staying last night.

My daughter’s are all struggling re: jobs. Such a sad situation for all of them. Melissa will probably lose her job next year due to funding cuts; Megan is looking for another teaching job in China because she is not happy working with drug addicts and violent people, and Cara is just searching. Even Jesse is waiting to hear about a new job at NPR so he can be close to Cara. (Sounds uncannily familiar!) Each is struggling with the changes in their lives and there is so little I can do. Thank God for Skype! I can at least keep in contact with them and they keep me posted on their lives.

Change can be difficult. It can be fun too.

Right now I sit in my apartment wondering what to do next. I have so much free time. I try to fill it with different activities, like writing a blog, cross stitch and a lot of computer games.

The housekeeper is here now, it’s raining outside and I’m going to meet a newbie for lunch. I guess that’s not much to complain about.